In a piece of research done on the topic of meeting each others’ needs, men were asked ‘How much time does your wife want to speak to you in a week?’ Their response was ‘15 minutes, twice a week’. Are you ready for the next bit? They then asked the wives – ‘How much time do you want to speak with your husband?’ Guess what their response was? One and a half hours - per day.
Just hearing that statistic made me feel tired. Do you know why this is important? It’s actually critically important for those of us in ministry because too many pastors and their wives fall morally. Too many fall out of the race because of emotional burnout. You hear of the wife who got attached to another guy at work or emotionally involved with another guy at church. Normally such an attachment ends up in bed. And the guy who’s emotionally washed out and whose wife is not responding sexually is more vulnerable to some-one else. That vulnerability can also end up in bed.
I don’t want that to happen to anyone reading this. I really don’t. There’s too much at stake for God, His church, your life call, your children – so it’s very important that we have appropriate rest and that our home and marriage is a vital point of refreshment.
So here’s the question. Here’s the application. Guys - ask your wife, ‘Am I meeting your emotional needs?’ If in the course of that discussion she says that she needs an hour and a half to talk each day – listen to her! Because in a moment she is going to ask you this question: ‘Am I meeting your sexual needs?’ At which point you can say, ‘An hour and a half each day…’
As a result of this blog I’ll be welcomed everywhere by male leaders with high fives! But seriously... men and women, husbands and wives need to understand how the other half ticks on this topic!
CS Lewis, John Calvin and Michael Servetus
3 weeks ago